QUESTION ⁉️ “My marriage has been a long journey of ups and downs. And for some reasons my wife keep texting other guys behind my back.
Anytime I catch her, she says sorry and promises to stop. What can I do to make sure she won’t do it again?
I have been there by her side supporting anything she wanted to do. Married for 10 years since she was not even 21.
She has a child from a previous relationship and kept that from me. I’m the one that don’t want to leave her because she is my whole world.
She makes me feel I am the reason why she is doing it.”
In this edition of how to fix a broken marriage, you will discover how to handle a situation where a married woman is texting other men outside the marriage.
Is it appropriate? Is it allowed? Is this another sign of a broken marriage. In this video, we answer that question with precisely why a woman feels it’s okay and exactly how dangerous it is if dangerous at all.
QUESTION – “Can I save my marriage to a narcissistic husband? I’ve been married to a narcissist for 10 years. I want my best friend back.”
First of all, any side of a marriage (husband or wife) can show narcissistic traits and it’s important to note that. In fact, the accuser may very well be the narcissistic one.
Many accusers point the fingers as a reflection of what they can relate to, especially when they can have their way. That’s also not always true.
How To Deal With A Narcissistic Husband
If your husband is showing signs that he doesn’t care about your feelings, there is a good chance that you are indirectly enabling it. People only treat you the way you allow them to treat you.
The first thing you need to do is to calm down and then start observing parts of your behavior that’s creating that dynamics.
By first staying calm, that will naturally throw him off because he is probably used to one way that you react. You can essentially and effectively pass the anxiety that you are feeling over to him.
7 Effects Of Being Married To A Narcissist
1) You can lose yourself
2) You can lose your freedom
3) You can lose your freedom of expression
4) You can lose attraction for your spouse
5) Your spouse can lose respect for you
6) Your spouse can’t love you without having respect for you.
7) You will resent each other.
Fighting With/Arguing With/How To Argue With A Narcissistic Husband
Arguments are 100% destructive in relationships, especially marriage. It may initially (or in the middle of it) feel ok but it will slowly destroy attraction of one or both sides.
There are distinct differences between healthy conversations, disagreements and arguments. Therefore arguing with a “narcissistic” husband is not a solution.
In fact, stopping the habit of arguments may abruptly change your husband’s narcissistic behavior as he will start wondering about the reason for your sudden change in behavior.
Avoid arguing with your husband. To replace that, start learning communication 2.0. It’s a whole chapter in the book “Get My Marriage Back”. It’s FREE.
Am I Married To A Narcissist? Quiz
Do you feel that:
1) He doesn’t listen?
2) He doesn’t care?
3) He doesn’t your dream?
4) He shuts you down?
5) He thinks little of you?
6) He acts like your father?
7) He thinks your opinions are invalid?
If you are feeling at least 4 of the 7 things are above, you should probably start learning how to bring your broken marriage back to life.
Feeling that way is evidence that something is not right and if your leave it unaddressed, you will build more resentments.
How To Talk To A Narcissistic Husband
Let them talk and wait till he asks for your response. In addition to that, repeat everything he said back to him as a way to prove to yourself that you were listening.
Take the time to process what he said and reassess if you still feel he is narcissistic.
If you do this, I guarantee his attraction towards you will grow and he will show very likely before you are processing what he was saying.
How Do Narcissists Stay Married?
The only way this is possible is when the spouse has given up on the idea of a blissful marriage. Sometimes, women would do that to maintain a family unity for their children.
In fact, it’s possible to not deal with a disrespectful spouse and still maintain a home for the children. I suggest learning the fundamentals inside the book “Get My Marriage Back” to figure that out. It’s FREE.
Narcissism, Marriage And Divorce on many occasions go together unfortunately. But it’s important it’s a very unhealthy way of living life.
Saving A Marriage With A Narcissist
The first step is to stop the bleeding by changing your usual way of responding the you interactions, arguments and fighting with your husband.
If he had approached you with this behavior during your initial dating, how would you respond? I’m guessing you would respond like someone who has self respect right?
This is not to blame you for another adult’s bad behavior.
In fact, I am trying to expose the amount of control that you still and will always have by learning how to build attraction with reverse psychology. Switch it completely on him and watch him come running begging.
Take the time away from your usual response to building yourself, your self respect and self development.
You will be needing it more to facilitate a healthy marriage. If you were ever in love together, you can single handedly save your marriage. May be he is not as narcissistic as you feel now.
QUESTION – “What can I say to my wife to stop a divorce?”
In addition to what to say to her to stop the divorce, you also need to learn how to say what to say.
Believe it or not, there is not much to say other than “I UNDERSTAND”. You can’t afford to start begging or apologizing once a woman get to this stage.
It doesn’t have to be her idea to stop the divorce but it needs to feel like it’s her idea to her. If she feels smothered into stopping the divorce, that will become a confirmation that continuing the divorce is the right decision.
When a woman asks for divorce, she has lost respect for you and no longer values the marriage. Any manipulative move will further decline the value of the marriage from her perspective.
Watch the video for more insights on how to talk and relate with a wife who has asked for divorce.
On August 16th, 2016, Popular YouTuber and Influencer Jacki Aina @jackieaina published a video titled “Unpopular Opinions: Marrying Young and Societal Pressures | Jackie Aina”.
In the video, she expressed how she is very happy with the new wave of women who do not feel pressured into the ideal or old ideal of a woman to submits into the pressure of being a 2nd hand in a marriage.
Apparently, she had not so pleasant experience being married in her early 20’s.
Recently in her early 30’s, she just got engaged to be married again.
Another Nigerian popular YouTube Influencer Dyna Ekwueme @dynaekwueme has chosen to take a seemingly polar opposite stand on the issue.
On August 20th 2019, She published a video response or reaction to Jackie Aina’s video titled “UNPOPULAR OPINIONS: MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR JACKIE AINA.”
Inside her video, she expressed reasons for the societal pressure and encouraged young marriage.
She out rightly said married does define women.
She in fact said it can make or break a woman.
Since then, she has received lots of backlash on this issue.
Lola and OLA find it interesting that 2 people with no extensive experience in my marriage have so much opinions about it.
The are both either right or both wrong. Find out in the special edition of GET MY MARRIAGE BACK which one is it.
Enjoy!
P.S This is a conversation. Let’s continue in the comment area.
