Today, we are responding to 3 different comments and messages. And the first one says…
“Going through this right now. We still do things at home together, stop going out due to the separation…”
And here is the second one…
“I have all the 5 signs that show a wife’s disrespect to her husband. Now I’m wondering how to deal with those wives with these signs.”
This was actually a comment response to a video we did a while back that has 20,000+ views on it.
Just search “5 Signs Your Wife DOESN’T RESPECT YOU LOLA and OLA” on Youtube after watching this. It comes right up.
Here is a quick recap of the 5 signs of a disrespectful wife that was mentioned in that video:
1 – She utters rude remarks
2 – She gives you the silent treatment
3 – She doesn’t sought after your advice and opinion
4 – She seems to honor other people’s advices and opinions more
5 – She doesn’t defend you when necessary
And then there was this comment…
“My wife started to disrespect me in secret back in 2022. She started lying and twerking on TikTok, commenting on guys’ pictures and videos etc.
I just found this out this year after a big argument and I made one just to check and I couldn’t believe that I was watching my wife.
So I made her delete TikTok and I got on her Facebook and almost the same stuff. But when I asked her to delete it, she blocked me and told me I need to act my age.
And that people onTikTok don’t mean anything.
I said of course they do if you post this kinda’ content, then liking their comments when honestly they are calling you a 304 and me a fool.”
.
As usual, we have consolidated the answer into 5 tips to help you deal with a disrespectful wife even in the middle of a separation.
Let’s get into it.
Tip Number 5
OLA – Focus on Rebuilding Friendship
This is probably not the time to start buying flowers and begging her to work on the relationship. I want you to focus on being comfortable with each other even if it doesn’t involve romance.
The fear that will probably creep through you is this. “What if she actually moves on?”
The question is moving on to what? After all, you need a confidence that showcases that you are the best option for her anyway.
Just trust the process and let go of everything you believed about marriage except friendship for now.
The strength of the friendship you build in this period has no choice but to spread to everything else way better than obsession and attachments could.
It’s always good to wait for the decision maker of the present status to decide to change that decision. It’s even better when you emotionally attract them to do so.
Tip Number 4
LOLA – Signs Are Symptoms
People can argue this with me… but when women go on social media to twerk, it’s a sign of insecurity and low self esteem.
She is most likely crazing unhealthy attention and it’s to do so when she doesn’t value what she has at home.
The point is that there are deeper issues at play and what you are seeing as signs are ordinary symptoms.
Guess what happens when you treat symptoms. It will give you a fake sense of relief but it’s coming back.
And when it comes back, the symptoms are going to be worse because the disease never left. It might even be cancerous and spread to other areas that weren’t previously infected.
So don’t focus too much on the symptoms or signs. A root cause analysis is needed.
Tip Number 3
OLA – You Need Some Space
Let me guess. I know what you are thinking.
You are thinking that married couples, space and distance don’t go together. But that’s actually not how attraction works.
One of the signs of low levels of attraction is disrespect and in Nigeria slangs we can also call that “see finish”.
When a relationship is no longer exciting for whatever reasons, it’s easy to find laying around convenient reasons to be disrespectful.
Put it like this. A woman who is in love with you will find it hard to be disrespectful even if there are good excuses… I’m not sure if there is a good excuse.
Distance makes the heart fonder. It may be as simple as taking each other for granted for being around too much.
You need space. If you are not careful, she will be asking you for space very soon.
Tip Number 2
LOLA – Say it Once & Let it Go
When you say what you have to say to address a disrespect, make sure you mean it.
A sign that you don’t really mean it or believe it is when you have to repeat yourself.
If a disrespectful wife is not responding to your request after saying it more than 2 times, there is a chance that form of communication is not working.
There is also a chance that there are deeper issues that you will likely not find out because you are busy talking too much.
Your rare ability to let it go after saying what you have to say no more than 2 times demonstrates self confidence, self worth, self respect and more.
Speaking of self respect…
Tip Number 1
OLA – Focus on Self-Respect
As we were preparing for this episode, a further elaboration came through the comment section to one of the earlier comments.
And I quote…
“I know she has narcissistic tendencies cause we’ll be fine now… as long as I don’t bring it up… if I do… she say things like may we should be apart if I don’t trust her or threaten not to talk to me if I bring it up
She ignores me basically. We lost our apartment and when she left, she took the kids and my car. I just moved back to South Carolina and started working there.
But we haven’t had sex in a month. She said she is not in the mood because of the situation we are in.
We will be fine for a week or two, then she’ll go run behind people who only wanna talk to her because she’s driving around in a 2021 Charger and kinda’ ignore me.
Then my trust issues come into play and she starts threatening to leave me again or she’ll say something to damage my ego more than it already is.
I got her to take down the other Facebook page and the one she had pictures of me on but she still blocked me because I’d be starting with people on her page because someone liked or commented on her picture or post.
I’m feeling better now though. I want my wife back… the girl I married 4 years ago and got 4 kids with and been with for 12 years.”
You see. There is so much going on in that comment that points towards lack of self-respect. There are just some things that you will never have time for when you have adequate self-respect.
At least, you will be willing to let a disrespectful wife go until she figures out where her priorities lie if she is confused about that.
But I get it. It’s easier said than done.
Nonetheless, you have to understand that your wife is only capable of mimicking and matching the level of respect you have for yourself.
We are speaking from experience.
We share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you’d like us to cover on the next video.
It’s simply the number of men a woman has had consensual sexual intercourse with in her lifetime… at least that’s what most of the conversation accounts for; women.
In recent times, there has been an increasing reference to body counts when people talk about dating, relationships and marriage.
What exactly is going on? Let me tell you a story.
I counseled a young man. 32 years old who happens to be with a 26 years girlfriend.
His issue narrows down to being uncomfortable and insecure sometimes after noticing that his girlfriend’s story as related to body count is not consistent.
He really wants to know the truth but as a fact of life, he will never know the truth because of the inconsistency in her story.
What’s her real body count? Is it 4 or 7 as she previously stated? He will continue to wonder.
I asked him why he couldn’t just leave this girl… there was never a straight answer so it’s safe to conclude that he didn’t have the balls to leave like most modern men.
But guess what… his girl wants some space now… And I quote…
“It’s not you. It’s me. I lost myself. I need to find myself and then we can talk.”
Damn. las las las las… na everybody go chop breakfast… shayooooo
Let’s bust some myths around body count.
Should you tell a man your body count?
Ladies. The truth is that you already don’t feel safe with this particular guy we are talking about.
If you do, it will effortlessly roll off your tongue before you remember the promise you gave yourself to never share.
Not just that. You also are not too proud of your body count as a lady. You are not abnormal.
As off press time, it’s pretty normal for a lady to keep this type of information sacred.
How much more… with the idea of sharing it with a man you don’t feel safe and secure with.
In fact, I think a woman that out-rightly tells the true body count “willy nilly” is a red flag at an emotional level.
I know I just triggered someone.
At the surface, it’s honesty and transparency but when real life starts happening, it can translate to so many other emotional turmoils.
If you want me to expound more on this, do tell in the comment area below.
Does it matter what your body count is?
I am guessing that it does or it is starting to matter even more; hence your question.
Many progressive minded “live and let live” types of people would say it doesn’t matter
“Do what works for you?” I’ve found also that’s just as much an extreme stupidity and not reality.
Others who may be conservative (especially modern men camouflaged as traditional) would claim it does matter…
Citing reasons that don’t hold water such as high body count leading to:
10. High chances of low sexual satisfaction
9. High chances of cheating
8. High chances of intimacy vacuum
7. High chances of promiscuity and prostitution.
6. Carrying of different weird energy
5. Carrying of different weird semen
4. The fact that no chemical will wash away
Someone asked…”what about the blood of Jesus? haha.”
3. P or D-whipped by an X (if you know what I mean…)
2. Sign of no value to body
1. High chance of orgasm gaps
Some modern men even say men have always wanted a virgin. This is not exactly true. Some people don’t really give a shit unless the ladies lifestyle is making it that obvious.
This is a lame man’s talk and precisely because they talk too damn much these days… with the whole mouth. Wise men don’t talk like this.
What about the moral compass that created these weird ass excuses to be obsessed with a stranger’s body count?
At this point, I have a question for you.
Many “modern men” claim this is just an honest consideration when you are vetting a woman to marry. Yea right. sure!
But isn’t there a difference between consideration and obsession?
Please drop your answer in the comment box below.
What does body count mean for a guy?
I can definitely agree that it means territory for most guys.
The problem with modern men is their weird and weak methods of marking that territory.
When you really listen deeply to the underlying emotions of the 10 weird reasons I highlighted earlier, that’s a man trying to mark his territory with insecurity and flawed logic.
Here is why it won’t work.
The woman is an incubator and she will multiply that insecurity and everything that a man brings to her…naturally; the product is negative.
If you argue with this reality, you will surfer.
Have you noticed that this body count rhetoric tends to attract accusations of misogyny, fragile ego, small dick (especially when you run around social claiming that body count leads to a sunk vagina… like a borehole.) and etc.
I even heard a woman say “…at this rate, I’m convinced men have vaginas too.” Damn…
Gentlemen… How you feel about body count is valid but we have to come up with better arguments.
A lot of men on the men’s side of this conversation are attempting to control another human in 2022 and beyond. It doesn’t work.
If you don’t understand the difference between maintaining your power with influence as against control, you will suffer.
I’ve also seen enough modern women, the only type of woman that exists today by the way, trying to tell modern men that body count doesn’t matter.
Well, it’s not really about body count. It’s a sense of territory.
Forcefully linking body count to killing pair bonding abilities and promiscuity without individualizing it will continue to put you at disadvantage.
The real simp uses every conversation about body counts to get triggered. They don’t stop at shaming women in general. They move to shame any man who attempts to hold them accountable.
“Simping won’t get you female approval.”
“Stop trying to be a panty collector.”
…all in the same breath of booty clapping for other men and trying to save prostitutes in order to change them to housewives.
As usual, results and time will tell us the real truth and who the real simps are.
Scarcity mindset is a cancer that spreads very fast to other aspects of life. If you don’t believe me, I am patient. I will wait.
The modern man is scared shitless of their woman imagining another man fucking them while fucking…
Nothing good comes out of operating out of fear. You will hurt yourself emotionally attempting to catch all the information in a romantic relationship.
1st rule: Relax.
If you want me to address this more, hit the thumbs up and indicate in the comment below.
We can address questions like:
What’s a good body count for a girl?
What’s the average body count for a 20 year old woman?
What is a high body count for a guy?
What body count is too high for a girl?
Does body count matter for a woman?
Why is a high body count a turn off?
Does body count have the same effect on the genders?
For now, I will leave you with this. If you have to explicitly ask a girl what her body count is in order to have a good idea, you deserve to be told a lie because she will.
Women don’t count every body anyway. Not all bodies count for women. You are fooling yourself if you are obsessed with body count. But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
If you want, indicative by the response to this video with the like button and your comments below, I will dive into the social, spiritual and emotional side of this conversation.
The stages of divorce grief are similar to the stages of grief that occur when someone dies.
The stages are shock and disbelief, pain and sorrow, anger and resentment, bargaining and guilt, and acceptance and hope. The order in which the stages occur may vary from person to person.
Some people may skip some of the stages or move through them more quickly than others.
It is important to allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage and not try to rush through the process.
1. Shock and disbelief: This is often the first stage after learning that your divorce is final. You may feel numb, have difficulty processing what has happened, and experience many other emotions, including sadness, anger, fear, and relief.
2. Pain and sorrow: As the reality of your divorce sets in, you will likely experience deep feelings of loss and grief.
You may find yourself crying often, feeling depressed, and struggling to cope with the changes in your life.
3. Anger and resentment: It is common to feel a range of negative emotions during this stage, including anger, bitterness, resentment, and frustration. You may lash out at your former spouse, friends, and family members.
4. Bargaining and guilt: During this stage, you may find yourself trying to negotiate with your former spouse or hoping for a reconciliation. You may also feel guilty about the divorce and blame yourself for the situation.
5. Acceptance and hope: In this final stage, you accept that the divorce is final and begin to move on with your life.
You may still feel sad and miss your former spouse, but you are able to start rebuilding your life. You may also feel hopeful about the future and find new meaning in your life.
Tips on Coping with Separation and Divorce
1. Recognize That Your Marriage Is Over: This can be difficult to accept, but it is an important step in the grieving process. Once you come to terms with the fact that your marriage is over, you can begin to move on.
2. Be Patient — Grief Takes Time: The stages of grief do not always happen in a linear fashion. You may move back and forth between stages or even skip some altogether.
3. Surround Yourself With People Who Support You — And Let Them Help: It can be helpful to talk to friends and family members who have gone through a divorce. They can offer guidance and support.
4. Practice Excellent Self-Care: During this difficult time, it is important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Make sure to eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly.
5. Feel Your Feelings: It is normal to feel a range of emotions after your divorce. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage.
6. Find Out What’s There Besides Anger, Sadness, And Fear: As you move through the grieving process, you may find that you have new insights about yourself and your life. Allow yourself to explore these new perspectives.
7. Timebox Your Grief: Set aside specific times each day to grieve the loss of your marriage. This can help you to avoid becoming overwhelmed by your emotions.
8. Don’t Hide Your Divorce Grief From Your Kids (But Don’t Freak Them Out, Either)
It is important, to be honest with your children about your divorce. However, you should avoid sharing too much information or putting them in the middle of the situation.
9. Write It Out, Work It Out, Or Just plain Talk It Out: Journaling, therapy, and talking to friends and family members can all be helpful ways to cope with your divorce.
10. Stop Blaming Your Ex and Start Forgiving Them (and Yourself) One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to let go of any resentment and blame you may feel. This can be difficult, but it is an essential part of healing.
11. Remember: You Will Still Be a Part of Your Kid’s Life Even After Divorce Although your family may be changing, you will still be an important part of your children’s lives. Try to maintain a positive relationship with your former spouse for the sake of your kids.
12. Consider Professional Help Many people find it helpful to seek out professional help during the divorce process. A therapist can provide support and guidance as you navigate this difficult time.
If you are facing divorce, it is important to understand the grieving process. By recognizing the stages of grief, you can better prepare yourself for the journey ahead.
Remember, every divorce is unique and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek out professional help. With time and patience, you will eventually reach the acceptance and hope stage.
Don’t Suppress Your Feelings While Grieving
Everyone is different and everyone can experience each one of these stages very differently. Allowing yourself the freedom to grieve during a divorce doesn’t make you weak. In fact, it can actually make you stronger. If you try to bottle up your emotions, they may eventually come out in destructive ways. It’s okay to cry, be angry, and feel sad. These are all normal reactions to loss.
Divorce is a process, not an event. Just as there is no one right way to grieve the death of a loved one, there is no one right way to grieve the loss of a marriage. Allow yourself the time and space to experience all the emotions that come with this major life change. Seek out support from friends and family members, or consider professional help if you need it. With time and patience, you will eventually reach the acceptance and hope stage.
Coping With the Hard Feelings
Coping with grief during a divorce is exceedingly difficult. Feeling all the emotions mentioned in each stage during the process of divorce is common and necessary for moving forward. It is important to surround yourself with people that love you and support you to help you through this painful time. If you are feeling lost, consider professional counseling to help you regain a sense of self and hope for the future.
Ladies, few things in life feel worse than the nagging suspicion that your husband is cheating on you………other than to find out that’s actually the case.
There are a ton of little telltale signs that you may be able to spot that will start your womanly radar ticking.
Some of your man’s actions may end up being innocent enough, but at other times, where there’s smoke, there could be infidelity fire.
Cheating can be in the mind only, purely emotional, or physical, or a combination of all three.
Just like every marriage is different, so too is every case of cheating.
We won’t quote statistics, but studies show that a lot of men (and women for that matter) do contemplate cheating in some way at some point. It’s one way to explain why the nation’s divorce rate currently hovers at around 50 percent.
So, no matter what your degree of suspicion is when it comes to your husband and what’s in his mind, there are a number of things to keep an eye out for.
Don’t take them as gospel by themselves that cheating is going on, but if you see a lot of what follows in your marriage, it may be time for the “we need to talk” intervention.
Frustration in the marriage is one common trigger; the cheater may make several attempts to solve problems to no avail.
Maybe they had second thoughts about getting married or they were jealous over the attention given to a new baby and neither had the skill set to communicate these feelings.
Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage — neglect, abuse, or a parent who cheated — that interferes with his or her ability to maintain a committed relationship.
Less often, the cheater doesn’t value monogamy, lacks empathy, or simply doesn’t care about the consequences.
We will take a look at a number of risk factors and causes for cheating, but it’s important to point out upfront that a partner doesn’t cause their spouse to cheat. Whether it was a cry for help, an exit strategy, or a means to get revenge after being cheated on themselves, the cheater alone is responsible for cheating.
1. He’s suddenly very interested in his appearance.
If your husband was previously indifferent to his appearance and is now spending more time than usual on his hair and clothes, it could be a sign that he’s trying to impress someone else.
He may also be working out more, or paying more attention to his grooming habits in general.
2. He’s working longer hours or taking more business trips.
If your husband’s work schedule has suddenly changed and he’s spending more time at the office or going on more business trips, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be using work as an excuse to meet someone else or to spend time away from home.
3. He’s become more distant and withdrawn.
If your husband is suddenly acting distant and withdrawn, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be less interested in talking to you or spending time with you. He may also seem preoccupied and distracted when you are together.
he’s cheating. He may be buying gifts for someone else, or he may be paying for activities that he wouldn’t normally spend money on.
4. He’s being secretive and evasive.
If your husband is being secretive and evasive, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be hiding his phone or computer from you, or deleting texts and emails without reading them.
He may also be reluctant to share information about his whereabouts or who he’s been spending time with.
5. He’s got a new group of friends.
If your husband has suddenly started hanging out with a new group of friends, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be spending more time with them than with you, or he may be secretive about who they are and what they do together.
6. He’s acting differently around you.
If your husband is acting differently around you, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be more critical of you, or he may be more distant and withdrawn.
He may also seem more interested in sex, or he may be less interested in sex.
7. He’s spending more money than usual.
If your husband is spending more money than usual, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be buying gifts for someone else, or he may be paying for activities that he wouldn’t normally spend money on.
8. What are those charges on the credit card?
If you monitor your monthly credit card statements and you start to see things pop up that you don’t recognize, they may be harmless, or they could be signs of monkey business that’s afoot.
If you can’t match up the expense with the story, that’s a problem. Also, if he’s now paying in cash for things that used to be charged, that’s a money monkey business concern as well.
9. He wants you to stop doing nice things for him.
Sometimes known as the Catholic guilt syndrome. If you’re being kind and considerate, as relationships should be, it could be revving up the conflict in him if he’s thinking about cheating or already doing so.
10. Cheat on me once, shame on you. Cheat on me twice, shame on me.
A spouse who has cheated in the past and gotten caught is more likely to think they can get away by doing a better job of cheating the second time around. If your spouse has a history of cheating, and you suspect cheating is happening again, it may be time to make that spouse a part of your history instead.
Why Do Husbands Cheat?
There are a lot of reasons that husbands cheat on their wives. Sometimes it has to do with the husband’s own insecurities or feeling like he isn’t good enough for his wife.
Sometimes cheating is a way to get revenge after an argument or disagreement. And sometimes, husbands cheat simply because they’re curious or they want to experience something new.
In this article, we will discuss how to fix a broken relationship even if it’s within a marriage.
May be you feel like all hope is lost… relax…. read this first.
Why Do Relationships Break Or Fail?
There are many reasons why relationships fall apart.
It could be that you and your partner have grown apart over time and now have different interests, goals, and values.
It could be that you’re unable to resolve conflict in a healthy way, or that one or both of you tend to withdraw or shut down when things get tough.
It could be that you have different ideas about how to handle finances, child-rearing, or other important life decisions.
Whatever the reason is, if you find yourself in a failing or broken relationship, it’s important to be intentional with your actions or lack there of.
Otherwise, the situation is likely to only get worse.
The simple truth is that we are humans.
We’re complicated.
And relationships between complicated humans are even MORE complicated.
#1. Trust Has Left The Building
The cement of your relationship is Trust. without it, your relationship will fail.
Trust issues are very common.
Trust issues usually start in our childhood.
We learn them in our families.
And then we bring them into our relationships.
When we stop trusting ourselves, we stopped trusting others.
And when we stop trusting others, we stop trusting ourselves.
Trust is a two-way street.
Some of the bad things that happen when you lose trust are:
Infidelity
Jealousy
Anxious behavior
Smothering
Insecurities
And a whole lot more.
The first thing you need to do is to figure out whether your trust issues are because your partner is not trust-able
…OR these are anxiety and insecurity issues inside of you.
Then you have to work on getting reconnected to your partner.
I’ll tell you more about how to do that in a bit.
#2. Your Communication Sucks
This is another one of those very common reasons relationships start to fall apart.
If you’re not communicating well, then you’re not going to be able to meet each other’s needs.
You’re always going to have misunderstandings and a deep breakdown of connection.
Communication is one of the most important factors in a relationship because it’s how you navigate with your partner
If your communication isn’t in sync and compatible, you will definitely have problems.
And eventually, you will turn to a therapist or counselor to help you with them.
But chances are it will be too late.
Make sure you’re always working on your communication.
Not just with your romantic partner, but with everyone in your life.
#3. You are on different maps/timetables
Sometimes it just happens that we are on different time schedules, or in different places in our life.
The timing is just wrong.
It can be hard to see this when you want a relationship to work.
But sometimes the situation is out of your control and you just need to walk away.
And sometimes you meet in the same place but you’re going at different speeds.
So you fall out of step with each other.
He might be going slower, and you might be moving faster towards your relationship goals.
You have to decide for yourself if you’re willing and patient enough to go at your partner’s speed.
Sometimes this means you have different priorities at the moment.
You may want to start a family, but he wants to start a business.
This will be something you must navigate and negotiate along the way if you want it to work.
#4. You’re just not a match
Very frequently, I see couples that get together and start a relationship.
But they didn’t ever stop to really make sure the other person was right for them.
One or both of them was just desperate to get into a relationship as fast as they could.
So they threw their needs out the window and ignored how wrong this person was for them.
They might have been seeking relief from anxiety, or from loneliness. But for whatever reason, they didn’t choose well.
If each person in a relationship is completely healthy, then they could probably start a relationship with almost anybody.
But compatibility is a huge issue if you are not in a whole and healthy place with your own self-esteem and self-worth.
One of the biggest love myths out there is that love conquers everything.
The good news is, that there are relationship advice that you can execute to repair the damage.
#1. Talk about what’s going on
The first step is to talk about what’s wrong.
You need to express your feelings and needs in a way that is respectful and non-blaming.
If you can’t do that, I recommends seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you learn how to communicate effectively.
#2. Make time for each other
One of the biggest reasons relationships fail is because couples don’t make time for each other.
Life gets busy and before you know it, you’re living parallel lives under the same roof.
You need to make time for each other—time to talk, time to connect.
#3. Be willing to compromise
In any relationship, there are going to be times when you have to compromise.
You might not always get your way, but that’s OK.
The important thing is that you’re both willing to give a little.
#4. Learn to forgive
If you want your relationship to thrive, you need to learn to forgive.
We all make mistakes—we’re only human.
The key is to not hold onto the anger and resentment.
If you can learn to let go, it will do wonders for your relationship.
#5. Don’t take each other for granted
One of the easiest ways to kill a relationship is to take your partner for granted.
We all need to feel valued and appreciated.
If you stop doing the things that made your partner fall in love with you in the first place, don’t be surprised if they start to look elsewhere.
#6. Keep the romance alive
Another common mistake couples make is letting the romance die.
It’s important to keep the spark alive.
Do the things you used to do when you were first dating—go on dates, have fun together, show each other how much you care.
#7. Work as a team
In any relationship, it’s important to remember that you’re on the same team.
You’re in this together, so you need to work together to make it work.
That means being supportive, understanding, and helpful—even when you don’t feel like it.
#8. Don’t try to change each other
One of the biggest mistakes couples make is trying to change each other all in the name of duty and responsibility forgetting that it is a romantic relationship at the end of the day.
You need to accept each other—flaws and all.
If you can learn to love and accept each other just as you are, it will do wonders for your relationship.
#9. Communicate, communicate, communicate
If there’s one piece of advice that experts agree on, it’s that communication is key to a successful relationship… to put more accurately… EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION.
You need to be able to talk to each other—about everything.
The more you communicate, the closer you’ll become .
#10. Develop Listening Skills
It is impossible to avoid arguments in any relationship.
And in those moments, it is equally impossible to prevent different perspectives of understanding right and wrong and ways of solving problems.
In such circumstances, there is no limit on what is required to be said and heard by both parties, which is necessary.
Because sometimes, or most of the time, the conversation becomes so fierce that the very limit of speaking is violated.
Due to a lack of listening ability, you take some such steps in anger which directly damages the relationship.
#11. Accepting the Circumstances and Your Partner
Circumstances can never be right and wrong in relationships.
Didn’t you see people coming together in bad times?
Haven’t you noticed people make or break in bad times?
If you look at history, you will find hundreds of examples where people came together in worse conditions, whether WWI or WWII.
Whether it’s raising a voice against racism or sexism.
People always came together to face the storm and grow out of them.
It is all up to our belief whether we can adapt to the circumstances or not.
We should always learn from bad times and always make good use of good times.
That’s the key to getting along with your partner.
#12. The Initiative Is Crucial to Overcome Relationship Struggles
Whether your relationship is on the verge of breaking or you are going through many troubles, if you want to stay with your partner and feel that everything will be right after a while, then the initiative you take to repair your relationship is always proven effective.
After a big fight, if you take the initiative and make your partner feel that they are more important than your needs, then believe that your initiative is commendable enough to strengthen your relationship.
The initiative will always be needed to keep the relationship successful and constantly fresh; a good initiative always brings closeness.
#13. Apologize To Restore the Relationship
One of the hallmarks of a bad relationship is that both sides see apologizing as their weakness, due to which they feel hesitant to apologize even if they want.
According to the study, ‘The Psychology of offering an Apology by Karina Schumann it’s proposed that the reasons why people hesitate to offer an apology or high-quality apologies are,
Low concern for the victim or relationship,
The perceived threat to self-image,
And perceived apology ineffectiveness.
But, if you want to fix your relationship, you must rise above these barriers.
Because if you don’t, what you do is end the 1% scope of repairing a broken relationship.
To cherish any relationship, it is as essential to apologize as to give forgiveness; it is precisely the same as washing and drying cloth.
Here, both water and sunlight make the cloth wearable.
Similarly, both apologizing and offering forgiveness make the relationship believable.
But be sure to be clear on why you are apologizing and ensure you’ve taken enough time to assess what went wrong; be intentional.
#14. Understand Your Moral, Social, and Personal Circle
Even though your relationship is going through a bad phase – facing trust issues, anxiety, separation, etc., if you are fulfilling your moral responsibility towards your partner, you are trying to take your relationship in the right direction.
Here you have a sense of moral obligation and personal or social commitments.
You know how to fulfill all these responsibilities well, then understand that you have almost saved your relationship from being ruined.
Because responsibilities always give strength, courage, and the ability to understand right and wrong.
And if you have all this in you, you will not let anything go wrong.
#15. Be Sure to Give Opportunities to Build Trust to Improve the Relationship
Trust issues in a relationship can never blossom a tree of love.
Therefore, in a broken relationship, it is necessary to create such opportunities to build trust between both parties, which can instill a sense of confidence in both parties towards each other.
And it’s not that it takes a lot of effort to build trust, it’s just small things that ensure that you have unwavering faith in your partner.
For example, if you have life insurance and your partner is a nominee in it, or they are your partner in any of your big projects, or you take your partner’s advice for small household needs.
Now it comes to how do you determine the opportunities to build trust?
Well to build trust you need combined forces of different human fundamental aspects.
You cannot build trust all alone.
And the aspects are,
Transparency.
Respect and…
Loyalty.
Without these, it’s impossible to trust or build it in any given situation.
Let’s discuss each in detail.
#16. Loyalty Is Essential to Keep Yourself Away From a Damaged Relationship
You have to be loyal to your partner to mend a deteriorating relationship because you must understand that hurting feelings will prove fatal for any relationship.
If you are lying to your partner or have a relationship with someone else, then understand that you are not paying attention to your partner’s needs
You don’t care if your infidelity can lead to your partner getting depressed and how bad the outcome will be.
If you are not loyal to your partner, then understand that you do not respect your relationship at all.
And where there is no respect, there’s no love.
And where there’s no love, there’s no relationship.
It has been destroyed.
Also, if you’re not loyal, you cannot expect your partner to be loyal.
Once you cross your line, they might probably cross as well.
And thus, you’ve both entered the phase of a broken relationship.
#17. Controlling and Managing Your Expectations
If the ambition and expectations start exceeding the limit in any relationship, whether the relationship of friendship, husband-wife, or business, then understand that the seeds of condemnation, neglect, and hatred have been planted in that relationship.
It is essential to regulate and control the expectations to live in harmony because the human mind always craves to get something new and thrilled.
And this craving starts to take away that person from his/her loved ones.
The person begins to remain irritable… resentment
He starts to force his people to satisfy his craving which further gives birth to instability in the relationship.
When his expectations don’t get fulfilled, he starts to blame his people.
Both the parties in the relationship should set their expectations according to their partner’s economic, social, and family situation.
This situation can be better controlled by mutual coordination.
#18. Do Not Take Any Wrong Decisions Under Stress or Anger
When the relationship starts deteriorating, it is natural for the person associated with that relationship to go into depression.
But can that person improve his relationship by making some wrong decisions due to depression?
You should answer this.
What’s your mind saying?
What’s your first reaction?
I believe it’s NO.
By taking a bad decision, you are harming yourself and the people you love.
Instead of fixing your relationship with one wrong decision, you are on the contrary worsening it even more.
In a deteriorating relationship, the person makes some bad decisions, such as drinking or getting intoxicated, abusing the partner, harming them, trying to hurt himself, not showing respect to the people in the relationship, adopting bad habits, etc.
Due to even more wrong decisions, a person tends to end the relationship forever.
And from there, it becomes tough to improve the relationship.
Therefore, make every noble effort to fix your relationship with thoughtfulness so that your relationship becomes stronger… be intentional.
#19. Seek professional help
If you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to be working, it may be time to seek professional help.
A professional can help you learn how to communicate effectively, resolve conflict, and deal with other issues that may be affecting your relationship.
While it’s not always easy, repairing the damage in a relationship is possible—if you’re willing to put in the work.
With patience, understanding, and a little effort, you and your partner can get back on track and build a stronger, more intimate connection.
What makes a healthy relationship?
Every relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons.
Part of what defines a healthy relationship is sharing a common goal for exactly what you want the relationship to be and where you want it to go.
And that’s something you’ll only know by talking deeply and honestly with your partner.
However, there are also some characteristics that most healthy relationships have in common.
Knowing these basic principles can help keep your relationship meaningful, fulfilling, and exciting whatever goals you’re working towards or challenges you’re facing together.
A. You maintain a meaningful emotional connection with each other.
You each make the other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled.
There’s a difference between being loved and feeling loved.
When you feel loved, it makes you feel accepted and valued by your partner, like someone truly gets you.
Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without the partners truly relating to each other emotionally.
While the union may seem stable on the surface, a lack of ongoing involvement and emotional connection serves only to add distance between two people.
B. You’re not afraid of (respectful) disagreement.
Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree.
The key to a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict.
You need to feel safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right.
C. You keep outside relationships and interests alive.
Despite the claims of romantic fiction or movies, no one person can meet all of your needs.
In fact, expecting too much from your partner can put unhealthy pressure on a relationship.
To stimulate and enrich your romantic relationship, it’s important to sustain your own identity outside of the relationship, preserve connections with family and friends, and maintain your hobbies and interests.
D. You communicate openly and honestly.
Good and effective communication is a key part of any relationship.
When both people know what they want from the relationship and feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires,
…it can increase trust and strengthen the bond between you.
In Conclusion…
Good, healthy relationships will sometimes be challenging.
But it’s all worth it.
You and your partner put yourselves through the challenge for the good things that come from a relationship.
Remember that this is always the case, even during the best phases of a relationship.
The challenge is further amplified during or after a separation.
Our faulty ideas of love, alone, won’t keep a relationship functioning.
It needs care and attention to allow both partners to grow and develop throughout its course.
A relationship can’t stay like it is during the first stages, skillful partnership will be required to make things work.
A healthy relationship will only happen if both people are prepared to work at the outcome, making sure all of the key elements work.
The most difficult challenges can be overcome with two people working together, for the mutual good.
If you have been going through difficult times, it can be hard to get a perspective on things.
It’s possible to do this with logical, sensible thinking.
Remember that the person you love has not disappeared, no matter what the circumstances.
You must reconnect with that person, allowing them to reconnect to you, in order to build or rebuild a solid, healthy relationship.
The main reasons why relationships fail are loss of trust, poor communication, lack of respect, a difference in priorities, and little intimacy.
A common trajectory for the end of a relationship is the slow tapering-off; a protracted period of tell-tale signs and wilful denial, as motivation to patch things up dwindles in one or both partners. A sudden, sharp break can feel more shocking, but it’s also clearer.
A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. On a basic level, any relationship that makes you feel worse rather than better can become toxic over time.
