In these 3 videos and articles, you will discover simple steps on how to fix a broken marriage and save your marriage even if your spouse has completely checked out of the marriage.
While you are responsible for 500% of a broken marriage, all you need is 100% of your dedication to master this simple fundamentals.
I will also give you free access to a 200 pages book called “Get My Marriage Back” that you can use to single handed-ly fix your marriage.
The skills you are about to master will not only be useful in marriage but in all type of relationships; even professional.
There is a good chance that you have been reacting out of attachment. That will only push your spouse further away and reduce attraction.
It’s all comes down to attraction. These videos will help you build it back up and your spouse won’t even know why they suddenly want you again.
Why is Marsau attracting disrespect from his in-laws?
We may be speaking from our traditional perspective here but nope… We’ve spent most of our lives in the west.
So we have some context.. at least some.
I do think that there is a lot of disrespect coming to Marsau from Latisha’s family. But dare I say it… he deserves it because he is attracting it.
Maybe “deserve” is a little too harsh… maybe it’s not relevant since for the most part, we don’t know what we don’t know when it comes to marriage.
What are we talking about here?
We are talking about one of our favorite shows to watch together on OWN TV; Love and Marriage: Huntsville.
It’s a show in its fourth season which showcases the married life of 3 or 4 couples… one of which is Marsau and Latisha.
They’ve been married for years so they ‘kinda’ know a lot when it comes to this marriage thing.
But it almost seems…
THAT very factor is creating a blind spot for Marsau.
In-Law issues are the necessary evil that we all have to deal with as married people.
And the fact is that Marsau talks too much when it comes to his in-laws… starting with Latisha’s mother.
When I talk about “game”, people always assume that we are talking about dating or pick-up artistry only.
The truth is that married men need even more game.
The higher you climb in any form of hierarchy, the more of a shit test target you become.
Marsau’s in-laws represent the first phase of Latisha’s life… development years for that matter… which means there are all types of sentimental values that he will never be fully aware of.
Alright. With that being said, let’s go ahead and share 5 tips for dealing with in-laws in a way that doesn’t tamper with your marriage.
Tip Number 5
Don’t Save Her… She “don’t” wanna be saved…
The limitations of this, of course, is a physical threat to your wife. But you don’t have the capacity to proactively save her emotionally from her own family; her source.
The safest way to remotely get close to saving her in a way that puts you at an advantage as her husband is to be that shoulder to cry on
…or a safe haven she can always trust to run to when she occasionally gets burnt over there.
I don’t remember if Marsau attempted to save Tisha from her cousin while beefing about her trip with Tisha’s friend which she was kept out of.
That right there is a prime example allowing her to go through that on her own.
Tip Number 4
Don’t feed into it.
Many at times, it’s going to feel like one or a few of your in-laws come with overbearing energy.
If it’s a physical attack, call the police. That should never be tolerated.
It’s usually not a physical attack. As for emotional or verbal attacks directed at you, don’t feed into it. Why?
Because your wife’s feelings matter to you.
So at the end of the day, you need to just remove yourself temporarily because that’s what’s going to create the best result for you in the long run.
Maybe in the short term it feels unfair. But marriage is never supposed to be a competition… remember.
Remove yourself physically and temporarily if you ever feel the need to feed into negativity; it’s not worth it.
Marsau finds himself feeding into Ms. Wanda’s negativity all the time. I know… “A man is supposed to check misbehavior as they come, right? No matter who it’s coming from.”
Wrong! That’s a short sighted way of looking at things. Some battles are just not worth the expense.
I also know that he puts on that face CAP like it’s all banter. But we can see through the bullshit.
Tip Number 3
Don’t compete with them
It’s going to happen… sometimes from a very subconscious place. You will feel like you’re competing with your in-laws for your wife’s attention.
It should never be a competition but I understand you are human like the rest of us.
She already chose you as the husband for a reason so it’s best to just maintain self-respect and esteem and remain the king that you are in your own household.
Anything else is validation and approval seeking behavior.
This awareness we just hopefully created will go a long way for you in protecting your position and your family.
At this point, you are probably hearing me tell you to kill them with kindness. I didn’t say that.
All I am asking you to do is to maintain your desired position with a long sighted view; be it a leader or a follower.
Tip Number 2
Don’t mix in-laws with business.
In one of the episodes, we watched Tisha and Marsau evaluate a food truck business venture with Ms.Wanda.
Per Tisha’s request, they were to invest in that business starting with buying and fixing this old dilapidated food truck sitting in the middle of nowhere.
This is a tricky one… and there is no absolute advice here… just a little guide.
Ideally, this type of investment should be avoided if possible.
It’s better to give Ms.Wanda, your in-law, whatever you want and can afford to give her as a gift so that you don’t become attached or invested in the outcome of the business venture.
It was obvious that Tisha really wanted to do this with her mother. If that’s the case, Marsau is better off giving Tisha the gift and detaching himself from the outcome for his own peace of mind.
Question of the day: Share in the comment area in one word… What do you think attachment to outcomes turns into when it comes to marriage and relationships?
Tip #1
Listen… Don’t judge
So let’s say Marsau follows this advice and gives Tisha the gift to invest with her mother.
From experience and analyzing a lot of cases, we know that “I told you so” moments are inevitable in the future.
As you probably already guessed, that wouldn’t be a moment for Marsau to say “I told you so.”
Many times, your wife will come to you and report on how her family member offended her. Don’t insert yourself and start judging them.
Just listen. Just be understanding. It’s okay to be fascinated.
“Wow..” “That’s crazy.”, “Interesting..” “O ga o”.
It’s okay to be interested without judging.
If you’re judging her family, she may feel good about it right now.
Later on or if you are consistent enough with that behavior, she may start to feel some kind of way about it because that’s her family.
You’re going to become the enemy.
We are speaking from experience. In fact, we share our own story inside the book “GET MY MARRIAGE BACK” which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and sharing with us below in the comment area what you’d like us to cover in the next video.
Wow… isn’t she lovely…. Ms Joke Silva. A.k.A Mrs Joke Olu-Jacobs, the wife of veteran Nigerian actor who starred in several British television series and international films….
And whose 80th birthday was celebrated by friends and lovers around the world from Lagos Nigeria on Sunday July 10th, 2023.
If you are looking for a wife or looking to maintain a blissful marriage long term with your wife, I have extracted 5 simple but massive tips for you to apply to your own life.
The first tip is to marry a woman whose name is Joke.
Okay… That was a joke… no pun intended. My beautiful wife’s middle name is also Joke. But the chances of you finding a Joke is slimmed to almost none.
I do have another 5 tips for you.
And I QUOTE…
“‘Wow! This is the standard of the woman I’m going to marry.”
Avoid attachments to ideology
That was what Olu Jacobs told his wife of some 37+ years when he first laid eyes on this beautiful young woman who was in her early 20’s at the time.
Listen. We don’t know them personally… but never mind all that… This is “couple goals”.
At least, we can see a real life example of what marriage was designed to do even in the entertainment industry which is notorious for random divorces.
Did you see my last video on Funke Akindele and JJC Akindele… Gentlemen… we have to step our game up. These women belong to you if you can get your sh*t together.
Don’t you get tired of the horrible divorce, paternity fraud, and etc stories?
Anyway, if you are struggling in dating, relationships, marriage, parenting, career etc… Consider sending me a text message with the word “HELP” to +1 (732) 517-7532 and I will see what I can do.
Let’s countdown the 5 tips from Mr Olu Jacobs and Ms Joke Silva.
Tip #5 – Avoid attachments to ideology
A lot of young men these days, in response to the decline to the pride that comes with the nuclear family, are now subscribing to archaic ideologies as a quick solution.
In fact, it’s a major talking point that one of the signs of unruly women is when they choose to keep their maiden name as opposed to changing to their husband’s family name as the new last or surname.
While I recognize the pride attached to the culture of women changing names once they get married, there is something to say to a man who is secure in himself enough to say these words and managed to keep his home together for 37+ years.
And I’m quote…
“She is her individual.
When I met her, she was an actress known as Joke Silva, so why should marrying me deny her audience her name.
She is Miss Joke Silva, who is Mrs Joke Jacobs.
It is as simple as that.
People now begin to say all sorts. They have even written that we are separated and all sorts of stuff.
When she is working, she is Joke Silva, but she is Mrs Joke Jacobs at home,”
That was Olu Jacobs speaking to rumors in the past. Tabloids used to be entertainment for women.
But sadly in this modern era, men would join and shame this man who actually is an example of their secret desired results.
They shame him because he chose not to have an unhealthy attachment to the ideology of his wife changing her brand name after getting married as far back as 37+ years ago in the still “traditional non-westernized” Nigeria.
You’ve sworn you know everything about the traditional Africans right?
Sure you should stand for something so you don’t fall just for anything. But as a man, you must know how to identify and create valid exceptions in life. If you don’t, you will suffer from your own ignorance.
Tip #4 – Make finances the least of your problems when it comes to marriage
In a few Instagram posts on July 10th, 2023, you can see Ms. Joke Silva fitting her husband, visually appearing to be in his old age but also sick with a condition called Dementia with Lewy bodies.
Dementia with Lewy bodies (DLB) is a type of progressive dementia that leads to a decline in thinking, reasoning and independent function.
Many young man today are stupidly concerned about how much weight a lady gains after having the first baby when that’s fundamentally an attraction issue that should have been ironed out earlier.
Others worried about superficial nonsense like if she makes more money or not… fundamentally an insecurity issue on the part of the man.
In reality, these are the least of your issues when you are doing life with a person you love and are in-love with. Inevitably, crises will fall on you and whoever you are spending time with in life.
If you are an immature person, the easiest thing for you to do is to blame it on the closest person or things like finances, infidelity, in-laws…. but the reality is that there are deeper issues…
And Ultimately… you do not know tomorrow… but yet acting like God.
Focus on finding a wife… a good thing… someone you can see yourself with when you are sick and 90 years olds… flat boobs, wrinkle… and all…. provided you feel a physical attraction to them today.
Anxiety about tomorrow and yesterday will destroy and rob you of your chances of achieving true joy.
Clearly… Olu Jacobs is reaping what he sowed over the last 37 years and most likely beyond.
Tip #3 – Leverage your work and reputation to do the bragging for you.
When Aunty Joke first met Uncle Olu at a rehearsal around 1981, she had heard a lot of good things about him… “a man coming from England to play the lead role.”
The anticipation and excitement about a person she had never met… she looked forward to meeting him.
In this time and age, there are many men of all ages sadly roaming around social media creating reputations of polar opposite.
Many ladies are pinged into online and social media spaces to hear how some men have chosen to address women in disrespectful, generalized and rude manners.
That’s also a form of reputation right?
Well, Law 5 of the 48 laws of power by Robert Greene says “So Much Depends on Reputation — Guard It with Your Life.”
Question of the day: Do you think Mr Olu Jacobs’ reputation that worked ahead of him made it easier for him to woo a fine lady like Ms Joke Silva or it didn’t matter what type of reputation it was?
Answer me in the comment area below.
Tip #2 – Forgive yourself and move forward.
When they first met, here was his first statement and I quote…
“Wow! This is the standard of the woman I’m going to marry.”
Ms Joke Silva thought it was a rubbish pick up line. But she said, he continued to demonstrate being a “wonderful” person during the rehearsals.
She thought he realized… and I quote… “He had made a faux pas and tried to get in my good graces after that. And we became excellent friends.”
I would argue that he confidently forgave himself as fast as humanly possible if at all necessary and moved on to demonstrate self-respect, self-validation, high self-esteem which in turn made her feel safe and secure around him.
Does a typical woman feel safe and secure around you after running your mouth online? I am not talking about the women advocating for men’s rights online.
Are you attracting the S.I.G.N language from the typical woman and having a hard time holding yourself accountable?
Shame, Insults, Guilt, Need to be right… Nagging. Or maybe… you are the first to beat the ladies to the S.I.G.N language… “these 304s ain’t sh*t!”
What I observe these days are a bunch of young men who need external validation in order to remain in their masculine frame; an oxy-freaking-moron.
They need the modern woman to be checked and roasted constantly; needy behavior.
Tip #1 – Leverage her feminine energy
The feminine energy is there ready to receive, multiply and reciprocate back to you. It’s like the ocean with a massive chaotic-like trend. If you attempt to swim against it, you will drown yourself.
That’s a whole series of processes, it takes time and that whole phenomenon and the respect that comes with it will be earned; no exceptions. Yes! The beautiful feminine energy is conditional.
The conditions and passing the non-intentional and endless shit tests from women overall is what makes you a man.
If you have problems with this reality, you will attempt to “fake-masculine” and demand respect and you will fall flat on your face all bruised up 100% of the time.
Feel free to try and prove me wrong.
In no way, shape or form am I asking you to engage an unruly or disrespectful woman and attempt saving her, you will fail.
But I will continue to hold you accountable for engaging unruly or disrespectful community of women and attempting to save them.
News broke out that JJC Skillz and his superstar wife Funke Akindele are now separated.
Who is Funke Akindele?
With tons of awards, she is arguably one of the biggest actresses out of Nigeria’s movie industry which is the biggest by volume in the world and number two with respect to everything else.
She is featured in tons of movies on Netflix. Just search her name. She is also popularly known as Jenifa which is one of her most popular series and a movie version which if I’m not mistaking, she directed.
According to wikipedia, she got married to a British-Nigerian rapper popularly known as JJC Skillz.
In December 2018, they welcomed twin boys as a couple.
On June 30, 2022, JJC Skillz announces that they are parting way in a post I saw on an Instagram profile; instablog9JA
I want to share some wisdom with you with regards to this from a man who has been married for well over a decade.
But first… here is the announcement I saw…
And I quote!
“Dear Friends and family I need to let you know that Funke and I have separated. While it lasted we shared a lot of things together and have created 2 beautiful children.
The last two years have been extremely difficult for us. I know I have tried my best to fix things but I believe it is beyond repair now.
3 months ago and at Funkes insistence I moved out of the house and apart from AMVCA have not been able to get Funke to sit down in an amicable manner to discuss the future of our relationship.
I’m making this announcement so that the public is clear that we both are pursuing separate lives.
We still have issues that need to be addressed such as the custody and wellbeing of our children which is paramount as well as business interests which need to be disentangled but I have no doubt that these will be resolved one way or the other
Mr Abdul Bello”
The speculation from sources close to their camp is that Funke is proud… as in arrogant for those who do not understand Nigerian English.
According to an Abimbola on Clubhouse who claimed to know Funke, he said… “though JJC Skillz is not perfect, Funke is not an easy woman to deal with.”
A few months ago, JJC Skillz’s son from his previous relationship dropped some revealing information about their extended family.
It included allegations of child abuse… some serious direct “panel beating” on his son’s head while actually driving in the middle of London street.
As a step son, he also testified to allegations against Funke Akindele that… And I quote…
“She slaps her workers and calls them names. She accuses people of dating JJC Skillz.”
He went on to say Funke has cheated on his Dad.
On the day of the announcement, there were 300,000 Nigerians on ClubHouse arguing JJC Skillz’ financial status before merging life together with Funke.
But then I noticed that none of them was able to substantiate how he was making any substantial amount of money that we can match against what Funke Akindele had going for years before him due to her status.
But I guess that’s beside the point.
Apparently, JJC Skillz had his son live with them and many conflicts ensued that he clearly could not resolve.
But let’s talk about this condescending statement he made.
And I quote…
“I know I have tried my best to fix things but I believe it is beyond repair now. “
This statement is as typical as it comes when a man has just failed in a relationship or marriage (chop breakfast) and he is butt hurt.
It’s disrespectful to himself at best.
The least he could do is change all the I’s in that PR statement to include the mother of his kids.
That will reflect more self-respect than trying to play Mr Perfect who survived a failed marriage.
Is Funke Akindele Perfect or a Toxic Woman?
Apparently, there was a leaked video where Funke was accusing him of cheating and using company funds without proper accountability…
If you have access to that, please share with others in the comment area.
Are you noticing a pattern with high status women with regards to marriage?
Why can’t people be like Omotola Ekehinde (another actress) and her husband who is a professional air pilot?
To me, it’s been clear that Funke and JJC Skillz’ marriage has been going through the mud and it’s very sad for the institution of marriage.
Here are the allegations…
I’ve heard people quoting a blogger called gistlover claiming the cause of separation to be:
1. Infidelity
2. Mismanagement of Funds and
3. Ego
I heard someone say they should have gotten married with a joint bank account. I think that’s an ignorant suggestion.
The person said … and I quote “after all, he is the husband and why can’t he take money from their business account?”
First of all… that’s all speculation.
But let’s be clear. If you as a man choose to go marry a woman of higher status like Funke Akindele, the only joint document you should be expecting to sign is a prenup if her team knows what that hell they are doing.
You can check out Kandi Burruss and Todd of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
So this guy had been posting a few proverbial songs on social media for a few days prior to his terrible amateur announcement…
This is all “unrealistic expectations” at best.
Funke Akindele is damn near the biggest actress in Nigeria. How do you not expect that to come with a healthy amount of ego that is not necessarily deliberate?
So even if she is guilty of the accusations of arrogance, that will be in addition to the natural.
As usual, this is a terrible version of unrealistic expectation mixed with egotistical pride on steroids.
Ok so apparently and allegedly, JJC Skillz and Funke Akindele lived in a 7 bedroom house but yet had to rent another house in town for his other extended family.
Is This What Funke is Guilty of?
So somehow, that 7 bedroom-family house is for the extended family and not a nuclear family?
Please… in the comment area… help me make this make sense.
I am in no way exonerating Funke here.
But my job on this channel is to hold the leader of the household accountable.
It’s not an indictment. I am just pointing out your leverage point as a man which includes the choice to walk away and mean it when necessary as a leverage for best negotiations.
Gentlemen. We can’t negotiate desire. We can’t afford to discount the power of desire, attraction, emotions and seduction in romantic relationships. These are skills you must learn.
Funke is most likely not going to make a statement… that’s her track record.
But here we have a man who couldn’t wait to run to social media to make such a condescending announcement about his own family. Your ex-spouse, especially with kids made together, remains your family for the rest of your life.
I have to be honest with you. I expect to see more excuses for JJC Skillz outside of holding him to account for his decisions.
After all, you as a man can control your decisions more than you can control another human being who clearly has a higher status in society than you.
To be married to a Funke Akindele, a man will need to be 100% secured in himself.
Newsflash: That’s almost impossible.
Why can’t she just submit to her husband? It’s not that simple.
Even if she tries to submit, insecurities of a typical man will creep to the surface and attract disrespect from a typical woman of higher status.
We are not talking about people on salaries here. There is nothing wrong with a wife making more money than you as a man… but don’t do it… especially if you think there is no such thing as an insecure man.
That’s precisely what you are with that belief system. Don’t bother trying it.
Funke Akindele is a woman of a certain status and she’s been that… long before JJC Skillz came into the picture.
If you’ve been paying attention, sadly, these things are predictable.
That’s especially true in the modern age.
This is the actual reality that many men are having a hard time adjusting for.
I’ve noticed that they’d rather talk about their fantasies of going back to 1933 ways of doing marriage.
Good luck!
So the fact is that men need intensive coaching to marry in this time and age.
Also divorcees should definitely stay away from marriage until intensive 1 year coaching.
I offer all those things extremely affordably. The only excuse is ego.
Ladies, few things in life feel worse than the nagging suspicion that your husband is cheating on you………other than to find out that’s actually the case.
There are a ton of little telltale signs that you may be able to spot that will start your womanly radar ticking.
Some of your man’s actions may end up being innocent enough, but at other times, where there’s smoke, there could be infidelity fire.
Cheating can be in the mind only, purely emotional, or physical, or a combination of all three.
Just like every marriage is different, so too is every case of cheating.
We won’t quote statistics, but studies show that a lot of men (and women for that matter) do contemplate cheating in some way at some point. It’s one way to explain why the nation’s divorce rate currently hovers at around 50 percent.
So, no matter what your degree of suspicion is when it comes to your husband and what’s in his mind, there are a number of things to keep an eye out for.
Don’t take them as gospel by themselves that cheating is going on, but if you see a lot of what follows in your marriage, it may be time for the “we need to talk” intervention.
Frustration in the marriage is one common trigger; the cheater may make several attempts to solve problems to no avail.
Maybe they had second thoughts about getting married or they were jealous over the attention given to a new baby and neither had the skill set to communicate these feelings.
Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage — neglect, abuse, or a parent who cheated — that interferes with his or her ability to maintain a committed relationship.
Less often, the cheater doesn’t value monogamy, lacks empathy, or simply doesn’t care about the consequences.
We will take a look at a number of risk factors and causes for cheating, but it’s important to point out upfront that a partner doesn’t cause their spouse to cheat. Whether it was a cry for help, an exit strategy, or a means to get revenge after being cheated on themselves, the cheater alone is responsible for cheating.
1. He’s suddenly very interested in his appearance.
If your husband was previously indifferent to his appearance and is now spending more time than usual on his hair and clothes, it could be a sign that he’s trying to impress someone else.
He may also be working out more, or paying more attention to his grooming habits in general.
2. He’s working longer hours or taking more business trips.
If your husband’s work schedule has suddenly changed and he’s spending more time at the office or going on more business trips, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be using work as an excuse to meet someone else or to spend time away from home.
3. He’s become more distant and withdrawn.
If your husband is suddenly acting distant and withdrawn, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be less interested in talking to you or spending time with you. He may also seem preoccupied and distracted when you are together.
he’s cheating. He may be buying gifts for someone else, or he may be paying for activities that he wouldn’t normally spend money on.
4. He’s being secretive and evasive.
If your husband is being secretive and evasive, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be hiding his phone or computer from you, or deleting texts and emails without reading them.
He may also be reluctant to share information about his whereabouts or who he’s been spending time with.
5. He’s got a new group of friends.
If your husband has suddenly started hanging out with a new group of friends, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be spending more time with them than with you, or he may be secretive about who they are and what they do together.
6. He’s acting differently around you.
If your husband is acting differently around you, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be more critical of you, or he may be more distant and withdrawn.
He may also seem more interested in sex, or he may be less interested in sex.
7. He’s spending more money than usual.
If your husband is spending more money than usual, it could be a sign that he’s cheating.
He may be buying gifts for someone else, or he may be paying for activities that he wouldn’t normally spend money on.
8. What are those charges on the credit card?
If you monitor your monthly credit card statements and you start to see things pop up that you don’t recognize, they may be harmless, or they could be signs of monkey business that’s afoot.
If you can’t match up the expense with the story, that’s a problem. Also, if he’s now paying in cash for things that used to be charged, that’s a money monkey business concern as well.
9. He wants you to stop doing nice things for him.
Sometimes known as the Catholic guilt syndrome. If you’re being kind and considerate, as relationships should be, it could be revving up the conflict in him if he’s thinking about cheating or already doing so.
10. Cheat on me once, shame on you. Cheat on me twice, shame on me.
A spouse who has cheated in the past and gotten caught is more likely to think they can get away by doing a better job of cheating the second time around. If your spouse has a history of cheating, and you suspect cheating is happening again, it may be time to make that spouse a part of your history instead.
Why Do Husbands Cheat?
There are a lot of reasons that husbands cheat on their wives. Sometimes it has to do with the husband’s own insecurities or feeling like he isn’t good enough for his wife.
Sometimes cheating is a way to get revenge after an argument or disagreement. And sometimes, husbands cheat simply because they’re curious or they want to experience something new.
A breakup is never easy, but mending a broken relationship can be even harder.
If you’re having trouble getting back on track with your partner, here are some tips on how to repair a broken relationship.
If your relationship is in trouble, don’t despair.
There are ways to fix it. All relationships have their ups and downs, but if you’re finding that yours is consistently heading south, then something needs to change.
The failure of a relationship is always associated with emotional pain. After all, you lose a person you once loved very much.
For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for people to close their eyes to the facts and cling to a partnership despite dissatisfaction.
In the long run, however, this worsens the suffering for both parties.
Therapists don’t always use the term “broken” to describe a relationship in need of repair. Instead, they use “dysfunctional relationship dynamics,”
“A dysfunctional relationship dynamic is a way that a couple has of communicating and relating that isn’t working to create an emotionally safe and supportive connection,” she says.
“It’s often easy to see. One or both partners is unhappy, angry, and frustrated. Usually, both partners feel like the other one doesn’t hear or understand them.”
The first step is recognizing that there’s a problem. If you’re not sure, ask yourself these questions:
Do we argue all the time?
Do we never have fun anymore?
Do we always seem to be annoyed with each other?
Is one of us always unhappy?
If you answered yes to any of these, then your relationship is in trouble. But don’t worry, there are things you can do to turn it around.
1. Accept your role in damaging the relationship
The first step to fixing a relationship you ruined is to accept that you caused it to crumble. Speaking from experience, Christy says that it can be the hardest part of the journey.
“I ruined the best relationship I ever had and yet I was more focused on finding faults with David and our relationship to feel less horrible about what had transpired. I think it’s a common tendency.
You inevitably look for faults in your partner that you can use as an excuse to justify your own actions and mistakes,” she adds.
If you want to fix a broken relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it is imperative to focus on the I rather than you. Acknowledge and accept your mistakes, and only then can you even hope to even begin repairing your damaged bond.
2. Be honest
The only way to fix a relationship is, to be honest with your partner. This means being truthful about your feelings, admitting when you’re wrong, and sharing your thoughts and desires.
It also means being honest about what you expect from the relationship. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
3. Initiate dialogue
To be able to fix a broken relationship with your girlfriend or boyfriend, you need to get through to them and have a conversation. That entails putting your ego aside and reaching out.
Even if you’re not ready to talk about your feelings until you’re face-to-face, reaching out over text can still be a good start to break the ice.
Of course, you can’t hope for a message to fix a broken relationship, but it will give you something to work with.
4. Brainstorm over how to fix a relationship you broke
Once you’ve initiated a conversation, it will be time to brainstorm and come up with a plan on how to fix your relationship.
You need to be clear about what you want from the relationship, and what you’re willing to do to make it work again. If you’re both on the same page, then it’s time to start working on your relationship.
5. State your intentions clearly
When you’re ready to take things to the next level, it’s important to state your intentions clearly.
This means being honest about your feelings and what you want from the relationship. It also means setting boundaries and communicating your needs.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
6. Practice active listening
One of the most important things you can do to fix a broken relationship is to practice active listening.
This means really listening to what your partner has to say and trying to understand their point of view.
It also means being respectful and taking time to respond thoughtfully. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
7. Reflect on what went wrong
Once you’ve taken some time to listen to your partner and understand their perspective, it’s important to reflect on what went wrong in the relationship.
This means being honest about your own role in the problems and taking responsibility for your actions.
It also means being open to hearing about your partner’s experiences and feelings. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
8. Make a plan to change your behavior
If you want to fix a broken relationship, you need to be prepared to change your behavior.
This means making a conscious effort to do things differently in the future. It also means being patient and giving your partner time to adjust to the new you.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
9. Focus on the love you shared
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to focus on the love you shared.
This means reminding yourself of the good times and why you fell in love in the first place. It also means being patient and giving your partner time to adjust to the new you.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
10. Apologize to undo the damage in a relationship
One of the most important things you can do to fix a broken relationship is to apologize for your part in the problems.
This means being honest about your mistakes and taking responsibility for your actions.
It also means being open to hearing about your partner’s experiences and feelings.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
11. Let go of expectations
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to let go of your expectations.
This means accepting that things will be different from how they were before and being open to new possibilities.
It also means being patient and giving your partner time to adjust to the new you.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
12. Move forward one day at a time
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to take things one day at a time.
This means being patient and giving your partner time to adjust to the new you.
It also means being open to new possibilities and accepting that things will be different from how they were before.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
13. Don’t push their buttons
One of the most important things you can do to fix a broken relationship is to avoid pushing your partner’s buttons.
This means being respectful and taking time to understand their perspective. It also means being patient and giving your partner time to adjust to the new you.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
14. Stay in control of the discourse
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to stay in control of the discourse.
This means being respectful and taking time to listen to your partner. It also means being patient and giving your partner time to adjust to the new you. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
15. Steer clear of the blame game
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to avoid playing the blame game.
This means being honest about your role in the problems and taking responsibility for your actions. It also means being open to hearing about your partner’s experiences and feelings.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
16. Be patient
One of the most important things you can do to fix a broken relationship is to be patient and give your partner time.
This means being respectful and taking time to understand their perspective.
It also means being open to new possibilities and accepting that things will be different from how they were before.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
17. Earn the trust back
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to earn your partner’s trust back.
This means being honest and transparent in your communication.
It also means being open to hearing about your partner’s experiences and feelings. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
18. Work together as a team
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to work together as a team.
This means being honest and transparent in your communication. It also means being open to hearing about your partner’s experiences and feelings.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
19. Keep your promises
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to keep your promises.
This means being honest and transparent in your communication. It also means being open to hearing about your partner’s experiences and feelings.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
20. Bring back affection in your relationship
When you’re trying to repair a broken relationship, it’s important to bring back the affection.
This means being loving and present in your interactions. It also means being open to new possibilities and accepting that things will be different from how they were before.
If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
The Warning Signs Your Relationship is Over
1. Other people and things come first
If you’ve noticed that your partner is putting other people and things before you, it’s a warning sign that your relationship is in trouble.
This means that they’re not prioritizing your needs and they’re not invested in the relationship. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
2. Arguments begin when you ask for something
If you find that you’re always the one initiating arguments, it’s a sign that your partner is no longer interested in fighting for the relationship.
This means that they’re not willing to put in the effort to make things work. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
3. No intimacy or only intimacy
If you’ve noticed that your partner is no longer interested in being intimate with you, it’s a sign that they’re no longer invested in the relationship.
This can be a difficult thing to deal with, but it’s important, to be honest about your needs. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
4. Secretive behavior
If you’ve noticed that your partner is being more secretive, it’s a sign that they’re not being honest with you.
This means that they’re hiding something from you or they’re not telling you the whole truth. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
5. Your partner is always right
If you find that your partner is always right, it’s a sign that they’re not willing to compromise.
This means that they’re not interested in finding a middle ground or working together to find a solution. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
6. You’re always the one apologizing
If you find that you’re always the one apologizing, it’s a sign that your partner is not taking responsibility for their actions.
This means that they’re not willing to admit when they’re wrong or to work towards fixing the problem. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
7. They don’t want to talk about the future
If your partner is no longer interested in talking about the future, it’s a sign that they’re not invested in the relationship.
This means that they’re not willing to commit to anything long-term or make plans for the future. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
8. You’re always walking on eggshells
If you find that you’re always walking on eggshells around your partner, it’s a sign that they’re not stable.
This means that they’re unpredictable and their moods can swing without warning. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
9. They’re always threatening to leave
If your partner is always threatening to leave, it’s a sign that they’re not happy in the relationship.
This means that they’re looking for an excuse to get out of the relationship and they’re not committed to working things out. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
10. You don’t trust them
If you don’t trust your partner, it’s a sign that the relationship is in trouble. This means that there’s a lack of communication and respect. If you’re not sure what you want, then you need to take some time to figure it out.
What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?
A healthy relationship is one where both partners are committed to working things out. They’re willing to communicate and they’re open to hearing each other’s needs. They’re also willing to compromise and find a middle ground. Lastly, a healthy relationship is built on trust and respect.
Characteristics of Healthy Relationships
Respect for privacy and space. You don’t have to be with your partner 24/7.
Your partner encourages you to spend time with friends without them and to participate in activities that you enjoy.
You feel comfortable expressing your opinions and concerns to your partner.
Your feel physically safe and your partner doesn’t force you to have sex or to do things that make you feel uncomfortable.
Your partner respects your wishes and feelings and you can compromise and negotiate when there are disagreements or conflicts.
The foundation of a healthy relationship includes:
Boundaries: You and your partner are able to find ways to meet each other’s needs in ways that you both feel comfortable with.
Communication: You and your partner can share your feelings, even when you don’t agree, in a way that makes the other person feel safe, heard, and not judged.
Trust: Building trust can take time and allows couples to be vulnerable with one another knowing that they can rely on the other person.
Consent: Most commonly used when you’re being sexually active, giving consent means that you are okay with what is happening and that no one is forcing you or guilting you into doing anything that you don’t want to do. Consent can be given and taken back at any time, and giving consent once does not mean you automatically give consent in the future.
See how these things go hand in hand by exploring the other sections to your left.
Please keep in mind that in some abusive relationships, trying to enforce boundaries, honest communication, trust, and other healthy behaviors could put your safety at risk. Remember, abuse is about power and control and someone who is abusive might not want to give up their control over you.
Spend time with your Partner
Quality time is important for any relationship, but it can be especially helpful if your partner is feeling disconnected from you.
Here are some ideas on how to spend quality time with your partner:
Talk and listen to each other: Have an open conversation where you both share how you’re feeling. Take turns talking and really try to listen to what the other person is saying. This can help build trust and understanding.
Do something together: Spend time doing an activity that you both enjoy. This can be anything from going for a walk to playing a game to cooking dinner together.
Be present: When you’re with your partner, try to be fully present and engaged in the conversation or activity. This means putting away your phone, making eye contact, and really paying attention to what the other person is saying or doing.
If you’re not sure how to start a conversation with your partner, here are some questions that can help get the ball rolling:
What did you do today?
What are you looking forward to in the near future?
How are you feeling?
Is there anything on your mind that you’d like to talk about?
What can I do to support you right now?
By spending quality time with your partner, you can help rebuild your relationship and create a stronger connection.
Conclusion:
There is no one-size-fits-all solution to repairing a broken relationship. Every situation is different and will require its own unique approach.
However, by following the tips above, you can start to rebuild your relationship and create a stronger, healthier bond with your partner.
And if you find yourself in an abusive relationship, please remember that you are not alone. Help is available.
Please reach out to a friend, family member, or domestic violence hotline for support.
If you found this article helpful, please share it with your friends and family. And if you have any questions or would like to share your own experiences, please leave a comment below. We’d love to hear from you.
